Regardless whether we agree or not, love is simply a natural component of our everyday lives. However, in its purest form it is usually a bit different from the way we might imagine it … especially if our interpretations and perceptions on this particular matter, revolve around the patterns portrayed by the commercial Hollywood movies. As human beings with limited capabilities and our own weaknesses, occasionally we fail to understand and express our feelings that can be described with the four sacred letters L, O, V and E.
So what are the things that we need to know about this divine force of nature, in order to truly experience and share one of the ultimate joys of life, called love. Perhaps the following generally accepted hypotheses might help:
No Love without freedom … We do not possess the people we love
The people we love are not our personal ownership. By telling someone “I love you” we do not gain the right to tell them what to do or how to live their lives, because love has nothing to do with imposing rules, commands or expectations onto others. All those who behave like this with their “beloved” ones, are expressing nothing more than a mere obsession, which simply cannot be associated with love. As the evergreen ballad sang by Dido says, there is “no love without freedom”. It is a rule of thumb, not matter if you like it or not. So, in order to say that we are truly in love, first we must learn how to appreciate the free will of those who are dear to our hearts. To love someone, means to give them the freedom to be themselves.
True Love involves understanding
Having said the above, the best way to honour the freedom of the person we love, is to show some understanding, even if it leads in an opposite direction of our own understandings, purposes or hopes. Being able to understand your partner, as one of the higher levels of true love, undoubtedly is a “fertile ground” for nurturing a reliable and trustworthy relationship.
Anyway, here we need to understand that love is neither perfect nor some sort of ultimate happiness. It is at a same time a great and terrible and short and endless thing. Sometimes it can be dreadfully scary, while on the “sunny days” it is usually gracefully merry. That is why it requires understanding. After all, none of us is ideal, we have our ups and downs. Respectively, for the sake of our relationships, from time to time we need to show understanding for our loved ones, within the reasonable circumstances of any particular occasion.
True Love is not a one man show … learn how to connect.
We cannot experience true love by emotionally isolating ourselves from the people in our lives. In one of the most basic definitions, love is described as a variety of different feelings that can refer to an emotion of strong personal attachment. Thus, if we want to fall in love we need to switch the selfish “me” with the generous “we”. Besides turning the first letter upside down, this process also demands some sort of bonding.
As the above mentioned interpretation suggests, true love actually revolves around creating connections that support our personal growth and increase the positive energy that we share with the world around us.
The respect is always a loyal companion of true love
Certainly, there are many people out there in the world that we honestly respect, without actually being in love with them. But in order to love someone, first and most of all you need to respect that person. Eventually, there is no such love without encompassing any concomitant appreciation. In this context, the most appropriate way to show your respect, is to accept the people you love the way they are, without modelling their personalities or making them to change their behaviour according to your predefined check-lists. Respecting the people as a self-reliant living beings, also allows us to better understand their attitude and share a deeper empathy.
Real love begins when nothing is expected in return. It is about giving, rather than taking
Anyone who loves expecting to be loved in return, is simply wasting their time (Quotation from Paulo Coelho). Of course, being in love with someone who loves you as well is definitely one of the most beautiful things we can experience in our lifetimes. Yet, we do not give love in order to get something back, but rather to stimulate interpersonal growth, by sharing our feelings with the people that are part of our world. Moreover, according to the principles of life itself, the more we give, the more we get … although sometimes we need to be patient.
True Love inspires spiritual development and enlightenment
When we are in love, we aim to become better persons than we actually are. Love has the power to bring alive the best that resides in us. And when we finally become the best that we can possibly be, we want everyone around us to feel better too. That’s the way we spiritually evolve. By lifting other people up and making them happy, so we can share the joy together.
We cannot seduce love … actually it is vice versa
No matter how much our egos try to delude our minds that we are the “Casanovas” of our time, who can completely control our feelings as we please, love is something that cannot be tamed. True love cannot be found where it doesn’t actually exist, nor can it be hidden where it truly does. Hence it is ridiculous to think that we can seduce love through power, beauty, reputation or material luxuries and treasures. At the end of the day we are the ones who subdue to its divine power and wish to spend the rest of our days in that sweet surrender.
Perhaps we could prolong this list of insights with other numerous conclusions, explanations, premises or ideas. Although, no matter how much effort we put, we will never be able to perfectly depict what true love actually is. After all, it is more than words … isn’t it!?